re:mote voices

Title: Underworld: Evolution
Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran, Derek Jacobi, Bill Nighy
Director: Len Wiseman

I quite enjoyed the first Underworld film. Sure, it had flaws. But it was fun action movie. The anticipated Underworld Evolution has finally appeared, and perhaps the lack of publicity should have been taken as a bad sign. I don't really recall having even seen a trailer for Underworld Evolution before I went to see the film - though trailers are notoriously unreliable.

Underworld Evolution is an anticlimax. Having established some kind of cliff hanger at the end of the first film, the second jumps straight in. From the start it feels like the viewer has been dropped in the middle of something. Which of course they have, this is a sequel. But even having seen the original film, and the fact that this film starts straight from the end of that film, one is still left with a sense of missing something. From the start Underworld Evolution pretty much hits the ground running and keeps running without pause.

With that the film becomes a total anti-climax. Within the first 10 minutes the vampire-werewolf thing is fighting the werewolf-vampire thing, and then 5 minutes later they are fighting again, and then 5 minutes later they are fighting again, and then 5 minutes later they are fighting again, and then 5 minutes later they are fighting again, and you get the picture. The 5 minutes in between are spent with the vampire Selene (Beckinsale) pouting and swaying her PVC clad hips, with Michael (Speedman) looking rugged and out of his depth, Marcus (Curran) pouting and looking for Michael and Selina, and a man (Jacobi) sitting in a room, pouting and staring into space in a significant manner. Through this there is an attempt to bring in a twist, but one should remember that in order to have a plot-twist one must have a plot. Of course it helps if having made an effort to have a twist there is some significance or point to it, and it isn't cast into the abyss of anti-climax.

With little publicity to hype Underworld Evolution up it isn't as though I had any particular expectation for this film. Which is normally the best way to approach a film. But I just found myself bored, never really settling in, or enjoying the film. The end looks like it should be the end of it all, but after the first film there was talk of a trilogy, and Selene's voice over at the end suggests there is more to come. Oh dear. I can only suggest that after Underworld Evolution the only suitable name for a third film is Underworld Masturbation. Here we go!